Finding Happiness in your Own Skin

 

A Black Woman, Nothing Else
            Annie Ruth

There used to be a time when
I was ashamed of my skin.
I received tormenting jokes
from all of my friends.

Of course it wasn't done
to make me feel this way
But being black gave me much dismay.

"African, charcoal, Black Baby",
I would hear
But no one even noticed or knew
That I had silent tears.

Those names became nicknames and
I'd hear them everyday at school
‘Cause when I was young and growing up
I'd play by my peers rules.


One day when I was still young
My father left us all
And married a white woman
Who beckoned his every call.

I was really ashamed of my skin then,
I thought it was very bad,
I thought the white woman had something
Which I could never have.

But one day when I was still young
I met a black lady darker than I was,
She cherished and boasted that her
Color was a gift from above.

She told me that I was beautiful -
Something no one had ever done.
She said, "your skin is
So black and smooth-
Which shows the perfecting of the sun".

She said, "To match the pretty black skin
Your teeth are white as snow
And I'm sure that you will show them
Everywhere that you go".

Everyday she would tell me this
And her words began to spread.
They came from other people
I never even met.

The words of my friends changed to,
"Let me feel your face
And let me see you grin"-
For sister, you are beautiful-
Be proud of the color of your skin.

Now, I'm not ashamed of my skin
Though obstacles it may bring.
I proclaim to the world that I am
A Black Woman, the element of spring.

I blossom with happiness
And pride within myself
For I am A Black Woman
And I wish to be nothing else.

 

A Black Woman, Nothing Else

 

We talked a lot in Women’s Studies about how black women experience oppression differently from white women. I think this poem does a good job of showing some of the reasons why this may be. As well, because of the history of black people, men and women, in America black women are fighting one extra battle that white women haven’t experienced on a personal level. The white race is seen to have power over the black race and the little girl in this poem felt that firsthand when her father ran off and married a white woman. We also talked in class about intersectionality- how multiple aspects of your life come together to make you who you are, including age, race, sex, class, and much more. This idea is present in the poem because the author discusses how she is both black and a woman. She discusses her family history somewhat too, which also can be a part of what makes someone who they are.

A Little Dose of Daily Inspiration

            I stumbled upon an article published one Huffington Post’s website named “Best Articles 2012: The 25 Pieces That Should Be Required Reading For Women” written by Lori Fradkin. The article is basically a collection of exactly what the title suggests. All of the articles were picked by Huffpost Women’s editors. The articles listed include stories of women and friends, families, beauty, struggles, and finding true happiness. I have not read through all of the articles yet, but I believe there is an article listed here for almost every issue women have dealt with. These articles share inspirational stories of love and triumph. If you need a little inspiration or are just looking for a good read, check out one of these articles!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/20/best-articles-2012-women-required-reading_n_2166577.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

 

 

Everyone has their own story. What's yours? Comment below with your story. Who knows, maybe you'll be able to inspire someone today too!!

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

 

Do you remember how we used to panic when Cosmo, Vogue, and Mademoiselle

      ladies
            would Glamour-us
            out of existence

                        So ultra bright
                        would be their smile
                        so lovely their
                        complexion
their confianza based on
someone else’s fashion
and their mascara’d mascaras
            hiding the cascaras
            that hide their ser?

I would always become cold inside
                                    mataonda to compete
            to need
            to dress right
            speak right
            laugh in just the
            right places
            dance in just
            the right way
My resistance to this type of
      existence
      grows stronger every day
Y al cabo ahora se
      que se vale
      preferir natural luz
                                    to neon.

 

confianza: Confidence
mascaras: Masks
cascaras: Shells
ser: Being
mataonda: Dampener; onda is a “trip” in the positive sense- to matar onda  is to kill, to frustrate the “trip”- to dishearten.
Y al cabo ahora se que se vale preferir natural luz: And now anyway I know that it is worthy to prefer natural light.

 

Hernandez-Avila, Ines. “To Other Women Who Were Ugly Once.” Women: Images and Realities.  
          Ed. Suzanne Kelly, Gowri Parameswaran, Nancy Schniedewind. New York: The McGraw-Hill
          Companies, 2012. 125. Print.

Too Many Dicks, Not Enough Chicks.

 

            Patriarchy is a huge part of the American culture and extremely hard to get away from. It is embedded in our everyday lives. A working definition of patriarchy, as we used in class, is a social system in which power and privilege are more readily available to heterosexual (or perceived heterosexual) men than women. A patriarchal society is male-dominated, male-identified, and male-centered. There is even a t-shirt for sale in support of patriarchy (whether the makers realize it is or not) the says “I have the dick, so I make the rules.”

            In the article “Patriarchal Norms Still Shape Family Care” written by Nancy Folbre, she discusses how patriarchy is present in religion and in family care. She explains how patriarchal views differ between Republicans and Democrats, but exist nonetheless. She states that the Mormon Church and the Southern Baptist Convention practice patriarchy by not allowing women to become priests and saying that women should submit to their husbands.

            Patriarchy is everywhere: in religion, the work force, famiy systems, naming, and language. Women make less money than men. This means that women have to work twice as hard an twice as much to be as successful as a man is. As well, women are expected to stay home and do the housework, such as watching the kids, cooking, and cleaning. Patriarchy is present in our naming systems as a child always (it is rare to see otherwise) takes the last name of the father, as well as a wife taking the last name of her husband and not vice-versa. As well, patriarchy is present in the way that was speak, as we use words such as “guys” and “gentleman” to address a group of both men and women. Along with all of this, our country is primarily run by men, and almost all of our history is written by men as well. The female voice and story just does not seem to be heard.

             Getting away from patriarchy will be very hard and will take a long time, but it can be done. A good, strong step toward diminishing the male dominance that runs this country is to make sure the female voice is heard. Ladies, don’t give in to patriarchy. Defy the odds and make sure that you don’t get stuck into the rut of being a less-than. And gentleman, stick up for the women in your lives and make sure they have an upper hand in the household and don’t just fall under you. If we work hard at it through even the smallest acts of activism on a daily basis, we will one day live in a society where women are just as equal as man.

 Patriarchal Norms Still Shape Family Care- Nancy Folbre

 

Feminism: What does it mean?

            We discussed a lot in this course about how complex feminism is. As well, we discussed different types of it. Feminism, as we defined in class, is the wide array of political and social attitudes and practices that works against:

-sexism

-heterosexism

-patriarchy

-inequality

The different types of feminism include liberal, radical, Marxist, and socialist. Each type has a main focus on a different aspect of feminism, as well as works to a certain degree. In the article, “The Feminist Menu” by Chris Beasley, each type is explained in depth to help you better understand what feminism is and my look like. To learn more, you can find the article in the book “What is Feminism?: An Introduction to Feminist Theory” by Chris Beasely.

Barbie- Beauty or Beast?

Barbie is a toy that most of us played with as kids and have idolized, whether the reasoning being her long blond hair, her big boobs, or her skinny waist. Even very young girls want to look like her and live the Barbie lifestyle- in the dreamhouse with a man that looks just like Ken. We talked about Barbie in WS for a while and how the doll that is loved by so many is destroying little girls’ lives.

In our course book, there is an article by Susan Jane Gilman entitled “Klaus Barbie and Other Dolls I’d like to see”. This is one of the readings that really intrigued me and continues to do so. Gilman opens her article by saying, “For decades, Barbie has remained torpedo-titted, open-mouthed, tippy-toed, and vagina-less in her cellophane coffin- and, ever since I was little, she threatened me.” She goes on to talk about how perfect Barbie is and about how children get the idea that because Barbie is such an idolized toy, this is how they, too need to look in order to get the same status. Later in the article, Gilman goes on to compare Barbie to the Aryan race. She states “They [Barbies] ultimately succeed where Hitler failed: They instill in legions of little girls as preference for whiteness, for blond hair, blue eyes, delicate features, for an impossible uberfigue, perched eternally and submissively in high heels.” I will never forget this quote because I feel it is so true. Barbie is seemingly an icon for Aryanism. And to think that so many little girls have idolized her, meaning they have taken in similar thoughts of those of Hitler, that blond hair and blue eyes equals perfection.

            I was really interested in this idea of Barbie having the perfect body so I did some further research on the topic. Apparently I am not the only one who has ever wanted to look into it because I found an article, published by CBS News, about a college student who made a life-size Barbie doll. A student at Hamilton College, Galia Slayen is a former victim of an eating disorder. She was curious to see what Barbie would look like if she were a real woman, so she made her life-size. The results are shocking to me, as this Barbie woman has off-the-wall proportions. Her measurements would be 39” at her bust, an 18” waist, and 33” hips. Barbie would be 5’9”, wearing a size 3 in shoes, and would have to walk on all fours. This is truly sad to look at, considering that we put into little girls’ heads on a daily basis that Barbie is perfect and beautiful. Seeing this picture, as posted below, Barbie would really be an abnormal and deformed human.

So why is it that we idolize the impossible, such as such a small waist and thin legs? Consider the images you idolize? What is perfect to you?

 

Galia Slayen, with her life-size Barbie. Click here for CBS News article.

 

 

Gilman, Susan Jane. “Klaus Barbie, and other dolls I’d like to see.” Women: Images and
            Realities. Ed. Suzanne Kelly, Gowri Parameswaran, Nancy Schniedewind. New York:
            The McGraw-Hill Companies, 2012. 71-75. Print.

Merry Go 'Round

Merry Go 'Round- Kacey Musgraves

            I heard the song today, Merry Go ‘Round by Kacey Musgraves. I had never heard it before, but it caught my attention from one of the first lines. To me, the song is about what society expects of everyone. It talks about how everyone is expected to go to church, no matter their beliefs. The theme of the song is that life is like a merry go ‘round and we are constantly doing the same thing every day, over and over.

            The line of the song that caught my attention is about expectations of women. The exact line states “If you ain’t got two kids by 21 you’re probably gonna die alone, at least that’s what tradition told you.” It struck me as interesting because I feel like this is how too many people think today. As women, we are expected to marry and have children at a young age. Society says that our focus should be on finding a husband who can provide and then get to procreating. All too often women whose main goal is to get through college and obtain a degree before they consider marriage are frowned upon. And once we hit a certain age, we’re destined to be alone with no husband nor kids for the rest of our lives.

            As well, this idea that women need to find a husband and make babies as soon as possible is completely in support of heternormativity. What about the women who don’t like men and can’t get married to their partner? Are they expected to die alone too? The world that we live in is set up to only recognize heterosexual couples and situations, everything else is pushed to the side and often ignored. Try to look around and notice heteronormative things in your everyday live. This can be within the television, your school, family, or even your own mindset and language. Becoming aware of it is the first step to changing it!